Please excuse this week’s rant. I just want to shout out a few of the things I wish I could say 100 times a week:
I’m sorry sir, you didn’t consult us before you chose baby-mama and I know we should retrieve your kids for your messed-up custody arrangement. Oh, and yes ma’am … I appreciate that baby-daddy is a drug dealer, user and drives with your children in the car but why has it has taken four years and three kids to call us?
I totally understand that you are the only person that ever drives the speed limit and we should ticket every other driver to teach them a lesson! Oh, and while we are at it, we can arrange for you, a Boulder City resident, to pass by the backed-up traffic, with a police escort, of course!
I know being sick is embarrassing and I would be happy to tell the fire department to drive quietly into your neighborhood and secret you out the back door so you won’t have to endure looks from the neighbors. Yes, I am aware that the power is out and I haven’t been able to call the electrical crew or change the recording because every resident in town is calling. I have no idea what is wrong or how long it will take to repair; they haven’t even been notified yet.
OK, I feel better now. Let’s see what’s been happening.
Sept. 17. Found property: A backpack is found with a note on the top advising the finder not to remove it; the finder did anyway at 12:50 p.m. in the 700 block of Adams Boulevard.
Traffic: The driver is on foot after driving with suspended registration, no driver’s license and no insurance at 1:34 p.m. near the corner of Otono and Uva drives.
Trespassing: The caller wants a relative trespassed after that person is more trouble than help at 3:45 p.m. in the 600 block of Sixth Street.
Thought for the day: Just because you leave a note doesn’t ensure you won’t be visiting the property clerk (or tow yard).
Sept. 18. Welfare: The caller would like us to check on the employees at the care facility as her mother has been trying to get their attention forever and no one has responded at 12:35 a.m. in the 100 block of Ville Drive.
Suspicious: An officer is flagged down by a homeowner who states he found a hole in his garage about a month ago and the .32 caliber slug might belong to a neighbor who was shooting at the birds at 10:22 a.m. in the 1400 block of Sorrel Road.
Disorderly: A man and his mother are having a very loud fight and the man doesn’t like being told to keep it down. Now he will have time to reflect on his poor decision at the Henderson jail at 7:05 p.m. in the 500 block of Fir Street.
Thought for the day: The right thing to say is: I understand and I will comply officer.
Sept. 19. Suspicious: A man calls to say that he is certain that the subject parked next to him has keyed his car but the tapes will be the deciding factor at 1:15 a.m. in the 800 block of Nevada Way.
Welfare: The man walking into town from Henderson has no shirt and no shoes and drivers are concerned at 7:50 a.m. in the area of Veterans Memorial Drive and U.S. Highway 93.
Animal: A caller is concerned because the rams in the front yard are doing what rams do and butting heads and acting aggressive at 11:02 a.m. in the 800 block of Marina Drive.
Thought for the day: The officer gives the scantily dressed pedestrian a ride to purchase appropriate apparel for a walk to Colorado.
Sept. 20. DUI: The driver is sure his three canine companions will ensure he cannot spend the night in jail, but he finds there are rooms for everyone at 3:18 a.m. in the area of Lake Mountain Drive and U.S. Highway 93.
Medical: The caller is concerned because the subject may be suffering from alcohol poisoning at 11:13 p.m. in the 100 block of Ville Drive.
Suspicious: The subject in the boxer shorts has regular shorts on but still gets a warning about camping in the 1900 block of Buchanan Boulevard.
Thought for the day: There is no camping in the park no matter what you are wearing.
Sept. 21. DUI: The driver pulled out of Railroad Pass but that’s about the only traffic move he made that was legal and he gets to spend the day visiting the Henderson city jail at 4:26 a.m. in the 100 block of Nevada Way.
Burglary: A man calls to say he allowed a subject to stay at his house and is surprised when the guest makes a hasty exit shortly after waking up; however, the missing money, piggy bank and video games explain a lot at 5:44 a.m. in the 1300 block of Nadine Way.
Trespass: The media is banging on the door and taking pictures for a story on people who obtain guardianship with questionable motives and the caller wants them to go away at 11:02 a.m. in the 600 block of Otono Drive.
Thought for the day: If you remember only one thing from this week, make it: It’s easier to let someone in your house than get them out or get your stuff back.
Sept. 22. Runaway: The officer keenly spots the runaway from earlier in the night hanging out at the store and has some creative stories at 5:15 a.m. in the 800 block of Buchanan Boulevard.
Civil: Reports of a child custody exchange gone bad at 4:26 a.m. in the 1000 block of Adobe Circle.
Suspicious: The owner has no explanation for how the vehicle got into the wash; however, the driver assures us it will be out of there in 24 hours at 5:33 p.m. in the 1900 block of Buchanan Boulevard.
Thought for the day: It’s probably best not to bring the new girlfriend to the old relationship’s house when exchanging kids.
Sept. 23. Animal: The caller states that dogs barking is a problem and the officer advises the very intoxicated party that it is their duty when someone walks by their home at 2:55 a.m. in the 600 block of Seventh Street.
Suspicious: A caller finds a driver slumped over the wheel in the parked car very suspicious at 3:57 p.m. in the 800 block of Jeri Lane.
Threats: The reporting party states his neighbor has threatened bodily harm and “peels out” with his vehicle every time he sees the caller at 5:05 a.m. in the 100 block of Topsail Drive.
Thought for the day: The best place to sleep off too much to drink is not in a vehicle.
Call(s) of the week: Animal: The “not- friendly looking” sheep are loitering in the parking lot and the caller is afraid to honk the horn at them out of fear of retaliation from the herd at 12:32 p.m. in the 100 block of Ville Drive.
Have a great week.
Tina Ransom is a dispatcher with Boulder City Police Department. She is coordinator of the Boulder City Citizen’s Academy.